Experiencing a relationship breakdown can be emotionally challenging, leaving you feeling lost and overwhelmed. However, it's important to remember that healing is a process, and with time and intentional effort, you can emerge stronger and more resilient. In this blog, we will explore three practical and simple steps to help you navigate the journey of getting over a relationship breakdown.


Step 1: Allow Yourself to Feel
The first step in overcoming a relationship breakdown is to acknowledge and embrace your emotions. It's natural to feel a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, confusion, and even relief. Give yourself permission to feel without judgment. Remember that healing begins with acceptance.

Practical Tips:
- Journaling: Write down your thoughts and emotions to gain clarity and release pent-up feelings.
- Reach out to a Friend: Share your feelings with a trusted friend who can provide support and a listening ear.
- Practice Mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation, to stay present and manage overwhelming emotions.

Step 2: Establish Healthy Boundaries
Setting clear boundaries is crucial for your emotional well-being during this challenging time. This step involves creating space between yourself and your ex-partner to facilitate healing and personal growth. Establishing healthy boundaries also means taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Practical Tips:
- Digital Detox: Limit or temporarily disconnect from social media and other digital platforms that may trigger emotional distress.
- Create Physical Space: If possible, rearrange your living space to reflect your new chapter and minimize reminders of the past.
- Prioritize Self-Care: Focus on activities that nurture your well-being, such as exercise, healthy eating, and adequate sleep.

Step 3: Focus on Personal Growth and Future Goals
As you navigate the aftermath of a relationship breakdown, channel your energy into personal growth and the pursuit of your individual goals. Rediscover your passions, invest in self-improvement, and envision a future that aligns with your values and aspirations.

Practical Tips:
- Identify Personal Goals: Reflect on your aspirations and set small, achievable goals to work towards.
- Explore New Hobbies: Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you discover new aspects of yourself.
- Seek Professional Support: Consider talking to a therapist or counselor to gain insights and tools for personal growth.


Getting over a relationship breakdown is a gradual process that requires patience, self-compassion, and intentional actions. By allowing yourself to feel, establishing healthy boundaries, and focusing on personal growth, you can navigate this challenging time with resilience and emerge from it stronger and wiser. Remember, healing is a journey, and each step forward brings you closer to a brighter and more fulfilling future.

Stress is an inevitable part of life. From work pressures to personal challenges, we all face stress at some point. While a little stress can be motivating, chronic stress can take a toll on your mental and physical well-being. In this blog, we will explore practical strategies to cope with stress in your everyday life and achieve a healthier, more balanced state of mind.

Understanding Stress:

Before we delve into coping strategies, it's essential to understand what stress is. Stress is your body's natural response to a perceived threat or challenge. It can be physical, emotional, or psychological. When stress becomes chronic or overwhelming, it can lead to a range of health issues, including anxiety, depression, and physical ailments.

Coping Strategies:

1. **Mindfulness Meditation:** Mindfulness is about staying in the present moment without judgment. Meditation can help you develop this skill, reducing your mind's tendency to dwell on past regrets or future worries. Even just a few minutes a day can make a difference.
2. **Exercise:** Physical activity releases endorphins, which are natural mood lifters. Regular exercise can help you manage stress by promoting relaxation and improving your overall well-being.
3. **Healthy Eating:** A well-balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and whole grains can provide your body with the nutrients it needs to better handle stress. Avoid excessive caffeine, sugar, and processed foods.
4. **Quality Sleep:** Lack of sleep can amplify stress levels. Establish a regular sleep routine and create a relaxing bedtime ritual to improve your sleep quality.
5. **Time Management:** Proper time management can reduce stress related to work or deadlines. Prioritize tasks, set realistic goals, and break large projects into smaller, manageable steps.
6. **Social Connections:** Share your feelings and concerns with trusted friends and family. Social support can provide a strong buffer against stress.
7. **Deep Breathing and Relaxation Techniques:** Deep, diaphragmatic breathing can calm your nervous system. Practice deep breathing exercises or progressive muscle relaxation to help manage stress.
8. **Hobbies and Creativity:** Engage in activities you enjoy, whether it's painting, gardening, or playing a musical instrument. These can provide a much-needed escape from stress.
9. **Establish Boundaries:** Learn to say "no" when necessary and set clear boundaries to prevent overextending yourself. It's okay to prioritize your own well-being.
10. **Seek Professional Help:** If stress is overwhelming or persistent, consider seeking the support of a mental health professional. Therapy can provide valuable coping strategies and emotional support.

Conclusion:

Coping with stress in everyday life is a crucial skill for maintaining your mental and physical health. It's important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all solution, and what works best for you may differ from what works for someone else. Experiment with these coping strategies, and over time, you'll discover the combination that helps you manage stress effectively. By taking proactive steps to address stress in your life, you can achieve a healthier, more balanced state of mind.

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hOne of the hardest things we find to do, is to love ourselves.  It’s so much easier to just hate on ourselves, criticise ourselves or blame ourselves for all that life dishes out. Though were does that leave you?  Usually feeling like crap and believing in less that what we truly are.

So what is self-love? This is when we have and show respect for our own wellbeing and also our own happiness. Now this term “self-love” maybe a term that gets thrown around a lot these days, though the importance of loving ourselves helps the overall impact and quality on our life, and isn’t improving that something we all want?  If you’re struggling to get around the term self-love, may be use different words, such as being kinder, nurturing, and softer towards ourselves might help assist you in becoming more self-loving.

Like all behaviours, it takes time and practice in order for the behaviour to feel more automatic or even normal to us. Now this isn’t something that we can just go and buy at the shops, it’s a state of mind…towards ourselves. Self-love grows from appreciating ourselves in all that we do.  Its understanding that we are human, and humans make mistakes and treating ourselves more gently in the process. It''s acknowledging that we also deserve to be happy and we then start to take actions to support this.

So what can we do to start loving ourselves more?

1.Be more mindful. People who show more self-love often are more aware of their own inner thoughts, feelings, needs and desires. They are more likely to act on this knowledge than that of others. (See Show me the Monkey Blog for more information).
2.Boundaries. Boundaries are like a fence, you need to be mindful of what you allow through the gate.  Learn to say no or set limits so that you are more consistently protecting yourself. (See our blog on Boundaries for more information).
3.Learn to ditch the inner critic. Our internal dialogue has a lot to answer for and can often be the cause and fuel for more negative self-talk.  Start consciously talking to yourself in a gentler and more positive way.
4.Forgive yourself. We are so hard on ourselves and can often punish ourselves far to harshly for mistakes we make in life.  None of us are perfect and failure just provides feedback, accept yourself and your humanness more often.
5.Create rituals that grow self-love. Rituals are a great way of making sure we are adding situations or scenarios into our day that encourage self-love.  Turn the TV of for 15 mins or take a break from social media.  Weekly or monthly massages, or we can just pamper ourselves in some way.
6.Stop the comparisons. What often happens when we compare ourselves to others? We are the ones that often come up feeling worse for wear.  This can be detrimental to our self-esteem.  Practice taking a less comparative approach to others. If we are all reading the big book of life, know that some people are at different chapters to you.

Self-love might not always be an easy step, though it’s a step in the right direction towards caring for you in a healthier and more sustainable way.  Take time each day to stop and see how you can be kinder, more nurturing and more loving towards you.
 
 
If you would like to know more, then either visit us at www.bodymindsoulclinic.com.au.
 
Or you can call us on 5519 3338 or request an appointment. 

Who out there likes to make people feel good?  Who is a giver?  Well if you found yourself putting your hand up, you’re not alone.  Too many of us grew up being told that that we should help others and show kindness.  These are great qualities, though it can often lead to wondering why people often dump extra work onto you, why family just turn up and intrude without notice, and why friends take advantage of us.  Well maybe its because we haven’t set our boundaries strong enough. 
 
So what are boundaries? 
Boundaries are like a fence.  They create a barrier between us and other people within our lives.  There are a number of different types of boundaries that we can have in our lives.
 

• Material boundaries – these help us determine how we share or give material items with others, e.g. money
• Physical boundaries – this is in relation to our body, our personal space and also our privacy.  How do you feel about a hug – with someone you know compared to a stranger?
• Mental boundaries – these apply to your values, your opinions and also your thoughts.  Are you able to listen to someone else’s opinion without getting judgmental or defensive? If you become highly emotional during this time, it may be due to weaker emotional boundaries.
• Sexual boundaries – these protect us from sexual touch that maybe outside of our comfort zone.
• Spiritual boundaries – these relate to our beliefs around God or a higher power.

 
How do we set stronger boundaries around people?
 
1. Start saying NO!! This isn’t always easy as we often say yes as we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.  Though if you’ve ever seen the Jim Carrey movie “Yes Man”, then you can see that saying yes can becomes overwhelming and exhausting. 
 
2. It’s important to recognize that you don’t owe anyone your time and energy. That is yours to share as you see fit. Sometimes we may need to limit our time we give to others as this could have repercussions on our own priorities and relationships.
 
3. Its ok to be selfish at times.  Often we forget to make sure our own cup is filled as we’re always giving to others.  Take the time to enjoy those things that are meaningful to you.
 
4. Avoid negative people who take away your energy and spend more time with those who energize us.
 
5. Don’t feel guilty when you say no.  Having a boundary around something isn’t a rejection; it’s about taking care of you. It doesn’t mean that you don’t care, its just you need to take care of yourself.
 
6. Be the person you want to be. Who is that?  The more you become your authentic self, the more you’ll attract the people you want to spend more time with.


If you would like to know more, than either visit us at www.bodymindsoulclinic.com.au.
 
Or you can call us on 5519 3338 or request an appointment with one of our Clinicians today.
 
 

I see a lot of couples within our practice for relationship counseling.  Even if someone comes in for individual counseling, a lot of they’re challenges can often stem from within the relationship. To often I see couples when they’re in distress over the relationship and they don’t feel like they’re getting what they want from it.  The usual presentation is often one of hurt, feeling misunderstood, high levels of blame and resentment. 
 
It’s at this point that we stop giving, and start taking.  Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t intentional (or not usually), though most couples are just crying out for love and attention from their significant other and just not feeling it.  It’s at this stage that its important to remind ourselves which Dimension of the relationship we want to be in.
 
Dimension 1
This is where your focus is what you are getting from the relationship.  Your main focus is on getting your needs met and also what you’re not getting.  It’s all about you!
 
If you are on the receiving end of this type of relationship, then you may often feel alone and that you have to sacrifice your own desires and needs in order for the relationship to exist peacefully. 
 
Dimension 2
This type of relationship is all about equality. You are both focusing on meeting your own needs as well as the needs of your partner.  Though if your partner can’t meet their own needs, then to bad!  This is like horse-trading…if you do this for me, then I’ll do this for you.  This all might sound great…an egalitarian relationship, though the partnership may be fantastic, it can be devastating for the polarity within the relationship.
 
Dimension 3
In a 3 dimensional relationship, you take total responsibly for how the other person feels.  You believe that “your needs are my needs”.   And you don’t stop until the needs of your partners are meet.  This isn’t a level of which “you do your part and I’ll do mine”, its one of “I am here to take you to another level and I live to light you up and I will”.  It’s in this state that the passion, the energy and the joy all come naturally.
 
Stop asking, “What am I not getting?, but “What am I giving” and watch your relationship become truly extraordinary.
 
If you would like to know more, than either visit us at www.bodymindsoulclinic.com.au.
 
Or you can call us on 5519 3338 or click here to request an appointment to start enhancing your relationship today.

How do I know that I'm stressed?We see so many clients a week which are experiencing high levels of stress within their daily lives.  With so many different causes, it can often feel like we are bombarded on a daily basis.  Not all stress is negative, though often we have reached our tipping point and feel like life is struggle.  Here are some questions we are often asked about stress.
 
How do I know if I’m stressed?
There are a number of different symptoms to experiencing stress, though these are the more common ones are:

• Finding it difficult to wind down
• Over reacting to situations
• Reduced tolerance level
• Feeling overwhelmed
• Exhaustion and feeling tired
• Difficulty concentrating

 
How is stress different from anxiety?
This is a great question and there is a difference between stress and anxiety.  Stress is caused by existing stressors or triggers within our daily lives.  They can make us feel pressured and pushed which may result in a number of negative effects. 

One of these negative effects is anxiety.  Anxiety is stress that continues even after the stressor has gone. It is a feeling of apprehension or fear that creates a level of distress in the body. Is it also accompanied by further symptoms such as chest pain, dizziness and breathing difficulty. 
 
So what do I do if I’m stressed?
This may be different for each individual, though there are a number of ways that we can start reducing our stress levels.  We need to start taking care of our body and make sure that we’re eating healthy and also getting plenty of sleep.  This helps build up our body’s ability to cope with stress. 

Exercise is also a great way to alleviate or reduce the stress within the body.  Start with something simple, like a gentle 20 min walk, especially if you don’t regularly exercise and see how you feel at the end of it. 

Make time for you.  Yes this means you have to stop and make time to unwind and relax…this doesn’t have to be for hours, though create some time just for you. 
 
If you would like to know more, than either visit us at www.bodymindsoulclinic.com.au.
 
Or you can call us on 5519 3338 or click here to request an appointment to start addressing your stress today.

Yes here we are again with the silly season already underway, this is also a great time to be celebrating and appreciating all the good things in our lives today.  This time of year might be a great reminder, though what would life be like if you had that level of appreciation all year round?

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” – Oprah Winfrey.

What if by appreciating more, you attract more in to be grateful for? Where our focus goes our energy flows, so the more we cultivate this sense of gratitude, we not only increase our own sense of joy and contentment, we naturally attract more that we are grateful for in the process, regardless of what we do or don’t have. 
We are conditioned to focus more on what we don’t have, though by practicing gratitude daily, we can rewire our brain to experience and see more of what we do have.
Here are some simple ways to start cultivating an attitude for gratitude these holidays:

1. Take 5 minutes daily to write down what it is you appreciate and are grateful for in your life. What a great way to start the day!By doing this, you prime your mind to notice more of those things you’re grateful for each day.It also helps start the day in a positive way.
2. Appreciate 3 people in your life daily.When you let people know that you appreciate them, you are also helping to increase their own sense of self-worth and appreciation.This is a great way of encouraging someone to pay it forward as well.
3. Play the appreciation game. Make a time to appreciate everything that you come across.Appreciate the people you encounter, the road you’re driving on, the places you go, the weather at that moment….Train your brain up to see the good in each situation, even if you would have seen it negatively in the past.Make the cup half full, not half empty.
4. Carry a token of gratitude with you.Sometimes a physical reminder can bring you back into the mindset of gratitude.Just keep it close, in your pocket, handbag, desk draw or somewhere you can find it.Make a conscious effort to seek it out daily so you can experience the emotion of gratitude.
5. Be grateful for even the small things.Look around you.There is always something to be grateful for and sometimes seeking out the smallest of things can be the most powerful.What are those things you would normally take for granted? Your health, food on the table, a phone to call a friend, clean water to drink…Celebrate the simple blessings.
6. Appreciate yourself.Don’t forget to appreciate and be grateful for your own qualities and accomplishments.Celebrate the big and celebrate the small successes each day.The most important acknowledgment is that of which we give ourselves.

Appreciate, celebrate and be grateful for all that you have and cultivate your levels of joy and happiness daily with these simple habits.

Have a safe and joyful Christmas.