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"You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story & hustle for your worthiness."
Brene Brown
Brene Brown
Experiencing a relationship breakdown can be emotionally challenging, leaving you feeling lost and overwhelmed. However, it's important to remember that healing is a process, and with time and intentional effort, you can emerge stronger and more resilient. In this blog, we will explore three practical and simple steps to help you navigate the journey of getting over a relationship breakdown.
Step 1: Allow Yourself to Feel The first step in overcoming a relationship breakdown is to acknowledge and embrace your emotions. It's natural to feel a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, confusion, and even relief. Give yourself permission to feel without judgment. Remember that healing begins with acceptance. Practical Tips: - Journaling: Write down your thoughts and emotions to gain clarity and release pent-up feelings. - Reach out to a Friend: Share your feelings with a trusted friend who can provide support and a listening ear. - Practice Mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation, to stay present and manage overwhelming emotions. Step 2: Establish Healthy Boundaries Setting clear boundaries is crucial for your emotional well-being during this challenging time. This step involves creating space between yourself and your ex-partner to facilitate healing and personal growth. Establishing healthy boundaries also means taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Practical Tips: - Digital Detox: Limit or temporarily disconnect from social media and other digital platforms that may trigger emotional distress. - Create Physical Space: If possible, rearrange your living space to reflect your new chapter and minimize reminders of the past. - Prioritize Self-Care: Focus on activities that nurture your well-being, such as exercise, healthy eating, and adequate sleep. Step 3: Focus on Personal Growth and Future Goals As you navigate the aftermath of a relationship breakdown, channel your energy into personal growth and the pursuit of your individual goals. Rediscover your passions, invest in self-improvement, and envision a future that aligns with your values and aspirations. Practical Tips: - Identify Personal Goals: Reflect on your aspirations and set small, achievable goals to work towards. - Explore New Hobbies: Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you discover new aspects of yourself. - Seek Professional Support: Consider talking to a therapist or counselor to gain insights and tools for personal growth. Getting over a relationship breakdown is a gradual process that requires patience, self-compassion, and intentional actions. By allowing yourself to feel, establishing healthy boundaries, and focusing on personal growth, you can navigate this challenging time with resilience and emerge from it stronger and wiser. Remember, healing is a journey, and each step forward brings you closer to a brighter and more fulfilling future.
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Sometimes our relationships with our loved ones seem like a rocky road. We are all going to have our ups and downs. In order to keep our relationship on the right path, we need to make sure we are putting deposits into our relationship bank account on a daily basis.
Now Relationship Banking is a similar concept to regular banking. When we put money into our bank account, the numbers go up. And when we make a withdrawal, the numbers go down. So in terms of our relationship, deposits are when we are attentive, we turn towards our partner, we appreciate and nurture them. A withdrawal is the negative comments, the conflict, a lack of appreciation and empathy towards our partner. The Gottman’s research into this found that couples where happier in the long term when they turned towards their partner more consistently then those that didn’t. When couples turn towards each other, they are putting those deposits into the relationship bank account. Every time we turn towards our partner, it lets them know that we’re interested, that we care, that we’re hearing them and that we’d like to help. This starts increasing our relationship bank account we have with that person. Here are a few ways to increase your Relationship bank account with your partner.
No relationship is without its challenges, though when we start consciously working on increasing the positive feeling and connection we have in the relationship, then we’re building a healthy bank account within ourselves and our partner. If you would like to know more, than either visit us at www.bodymindsoulclinic.com.au. Or you can call us on 5519 3338 or request an appointment to start enhancing your relationship today. I see a lot of couples within our practice for relationship counseling. Even if someone comes in for individual counseling, a lot of they’re challenges can often stem from within the relationship. To often I see couples when they’re in distress over the relationship and they don’t feel like they’re getting what they want from it. The usual presentation is often one of hurt, feeling misunderstood, high levels of blame and resentment.
It’s at this point that we stop giving, and start taking. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t intentional (or not usually), though most couples are just crying out for love and attention from their significant other and just not feeling it. It’s at this stage that its important to remind ourselves which Dimension of the relationship we want to be in. Dimension 1 This is where your focus is what you are getting from the relationship. Your main focus is on getting your needs met and also what you’re not getting. It’s all about you! If you are on the receiving end of this type of relationship, then you may often feel alone and that you have to sacrifice your own desires and needs in order for the relationship to exist peacefully. Dimension 2 This type of relationship is all about equality. You are both focusing on meeting your own needs as well as the needs of your partner. Though if your partner can’t meet their own needs, then to bad! This is like horse-trading…if you do this for me, then I’ll do this for you. This all might sound great…an egalitarian relationship, though the partnership may be fantastic, it can be devastating for the polarity within the relationship. Dimension 3 In a 3 dimensional relationship, you take total responsibly for how the other person feels. You believe that “your needs are my needs”. And you don’t stop until the needs of your partners are meet. This isn’t a level of which “you do your part and I’ll do mine”, its one of “I am here to take you to another level and I live to light you up and I will”. It’s in this state that the passion, the energy and the joy all come naturally. Stop asking, “What am I not getting?, but “What am I giving” and watch your relationship become truly extraordinary. If you would like to know more, than either visit us at www.bodymindsoulclinic.com.au. Or you can call us on 5519 3338 or click here to request an appointment to start enhancing your relationship today. |
Michelle Saluja
Psychologist Archives
November 2023
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