​Motivation can be defined a driving force that initiates and directs behaviour.  It is derived internally and can drive a person to do or achieve something, such as our goals or our desires.
Motivation becomes strong when you have a vision, a clear mental image of what you want to achieve. When we create a compelling vision of our future, we are more willing and determined to make that a reality.  What’s interesting about our brain, is that it doesn’t know the difference between what is true or not true, so the stronger and clearer the vision, the more our brain thinks its real, thus moves towards congruency and our motivation is increased. So motivation has the ability to excite you and push you forward, so that you take action, so that you’re able to make your vision a reality.
A Lack of Motivation
 
So I’m going to throw out the human card and we can all relate to the fact that there are times when we just aren’t motivated and there can be numerous reasons why.
 
So what is a lack of motivation!  If motivation has the ability to move us towards what we desire, than a lack of it suggests there is an absence of desire, interest and a driving force.
 
A lack of motivation can result in passive behaviour, blame, a sense of failure and a list of excuses as to why you shouldn’t and cannot do this or that.  I know I’ve been guilty of this in the past…its to dark, the weather isn’t right, I’m tired, I don’t have the time, what are people going to think…and the list goes on.


The challenge is that when we’re not achieving even our smallest goals due to a lack of motivation, we can often be hard on ourselves though we can easily become indifferent, unhappy and dissatisfied with life.
 
Let’s see if some of the Reasons for a lack of motivation resonate with you.

• A lack of faith in one’s abilities
• Fear of failure
• Low self-esteem
• Fear of what others might say
• Continual procrastination
• Laziness
• A lack of incentive

 
So the burning question is How to increase your motivation

1. Let’s start with something we would like to achieve and make it a goal. Just remember it doesn’t have to be huge…they can be very small and do-able goals.
2. What’s important now is to make you goal very clear.  Writing it down is a great way to help clarify what it is you truly are after and wanting to achieve.  Make sure you describe it in detail…what do you see, what do you hear and how do you feel when you’ve achieved your goal.
3. Focus on what it is that you want on a daily basis. Where focus goes, energy flows. 
4. Find inspiration within that goal. Are there other people out there who have achieved what you are wanting? 
5. Get excited.
6. Commit to it publicly or have an accountability buddy to keep you on track.
7. Use positive affirmations that affirm your goal and desire. What we say is what we start to believe and it is who we eventually become.
8. Do something small in relation to your goal on a daily basis. Small easy steps…
9. Make a visual representation of your goal that you can look at daily. Get your brain into gear and grab some pictures that inspire you and place them where you can see them.

 
 
 
Here are some great questions to ask yourself to get you started.
 
Is there an area in your life that you are already interested in that motivates you?
 
What are you focusing on when you think of that area?
 
What is the meaning that you’ve given it?  Does it empower of disempower your motivation?
 
What has prevented you in the past from staying motivated?
 
What are the benefits of being motivated?
 
How is life different when you experience motivation and enthusiasm?
 
 
Ultimately getting motivated is up to you. Take one step at a time and never underestimate your ability to make things happen.
 
If you would like to know more, than either visit us at www.bodymindsoulclinic.com.au.
 
Or you can call us on 5519 3338 or request an appointment to start creating the life you desire today.

Sometimes our relationships with our loved ones seem like a rocky road.  We are all going to have our ups and downs.  In order to keep our relationship on the right path, we need to make sure we are putting deposits into our relationship bank account on a daily basis. 
 
Now Relationship Banking is a similar concept to regular banking.  When we put money into our bank account, the numbers go up. And when we make a withdrawal, the numbers go down.  So in terms of our relationship, deposits are when we are attentive, we turn towards our partner, we appreciate and nurture them.  A withdrawal is the negative comments, the conflict, a lack of appreciation and empathy towards our partner.
 
The Gottman’s research into this found that couples where happier in the long term when they turned towards their partner more consistently then those that didn’t.  When couples turn towards each other, they are putting those deposits into the relationship bank account.
 
Every time we turn towards our partner, it lets them know that we’re interested, that we care, that we’re hearing them and that we’d like to help.  This starts increasing our relationship bank account we have with that person.
 
Here are a few ways to increase your Relationship bank account with your partner.

1. Leave the criticism behind.  No one likes to be criticized particularly when it’s from someone whom we thought had our back. Look for the positives of the person in front of you and build on them.
2. Learn to appreciate your loved one's even more.  Create an attitude of appreciation towards each other and make sure they know.
3. Lead with empathy and understanding.  All of us want to feel heard and understood though reflect back to our partner their feelings helps to assist in creating stronger emotional connections, e.g. “I can see you seem frustrated at what happened at work today.”
4. Practice turning towards our partner when they are emotionally trying to connect.

 
No relationship is without its challenges, though when we start consciously working on increasing the positive feeling and connection we have in the relationship, then we’re building a healthy bank account within ourselves and our partner.
 
If you would like to know more, than either visit us at www.bodymindsoulclinic.com.au.
 
Or you can call us on 5519 3338 or request an appointment to start enhancing your relationship today.

Q: What is over thinking?
 
A: Over thinking is when we think about something to much and for too long.
 
Q: Why do we over think?
 
A: The thing is, we all do this.  Over thinking is a way our brain likes to make sense of what’s happening in our world at that particular time.  It’s a way to problem solve or analyze a situation.  Often we end up thinking over every minute detail, which can involve worrying, personalizing or mindreading a situation in our past or our future.
 
Q: Is over thinking good for us?
 
A: If we’re ruminating on a situation to learn or to help us grow then no it’s not a problem.  The problem comes with spending long periods of time being pre-occupied with our thoughts.  Usually they’re negative and aren’t very helpful.  The more we ruminate, the more it can have negative impacts on our mental health.  Think of the brain this way, “Neurons that fire together, wire together”.  So the more we think about something, particularly negative, the more we’re creating stronger connections in the brain, thus its easier to access.
 
Q: So how do I stop over thinking?
 
A: This is a great question as it’s easier said than done, though we can rewire our brain so that we create stronger positive pathways.

1. The first step to any change is having awareness of what we’re doing.  Start noticing when the ruminating is starting to take over. 
2. Practicing Mindfulness is a great way to start managing some of the unhelpful thoughts that tend to surface.  Mindfulness can help us become much more present, thus becoming more aware of our thoughts and quiet the mind.
3. Change your focus because what you focus on you feel.  Often we’re telling ourselves that we don’t want to be experiencing or thinking these thoughts, though our brain doesn’t do negatives very well. So the more we say we don’t want to think these thoughts, the more we do.  So distract your mind with positive activities, such as adult colouring in, Mindfulness, exercise, or call a friend.
4. Challenge our thoughts.  Many of our thoughts are just assumptions…a thought with little evidence. So we need to challenge the truth of what we are thinking and learn to replace our thoughts with more positive or helpful thoughts.

 
Over thinking can happen to us all and none of us are immune to it…it’s what makes us human.  Though we can learn to manage our mind to it works for us, not against us.
 
If you would like to know more, than either visit us at www.bodymindsoulclinic.com.au.
 
Or you can call us on 5519 3338 or request an appointment with one of our Clinicians today.

What makes a relationship work is having things in common. This is great for when we want to feel emotionally connected.  What makes a relationship passionate is having differences.  Polarity within relationships helps to create an attraction between two couples.  So the more opposed the energies are between two people (masculine vs. feminine energy), the stronger the attraction is within the relationship. 
 
When two people have a similar polarity, such as both are more masculine, then the attraction between the two people is reduced. Yet the attraction is maximized when one is very feminine and other very masculine. Polarity is what keeps the passion of the relationship alive and helps to increase attraction and intimacy.
 
These energies are not based on gender as any person may identify with being more masculine or feminine.  Yet this energy is something we need to cultivate for ourselves.

            Masculine                                                                                                           Feminine

Physical Characteristics and Energy

Strong physical presence,                                                                Open, free, flowing, full of life energy
centeredness, rigidity, and a feeling of                                           sometimes more nurturing, sometimes
unwavering purpose and strength                                                  more wild and free

Primary Driving Force

Masculine essence is primarily driven                                            Feminine essence is moved primarily
by direction in life, or by a life mission.                                          by emotions in an intimate relationship
                                                                                                             The Feminine force is about opening to
​                                                                                                              love and giving love.

Focus

Focused on one mode only at a time                                              Flow: Interruption does not exist
and the single task at hand.                                                              because you are in a constant state of
                                                                                                             flow.
Looking for trouble: Sees a problem                                               Looking for love: Ultimate way to 
and wants to fix it (even when there                                              magnify radiance and beauty.
​isn't one).

Goals

Masculine energy seeks release from                                             Feminine energy is based on attraction
the burdens of life and relationship,                                                and enchantment, drawing others in
from the constraints of life.                                                              through opening of the heart to beauty
                                                                                                              and love.
The masculine strives to break free to                                            The feminine wants to fill up with love
ultimate ecstasy and freedom. They                                               energy and attention.  The feminie
wants to be empty and let go.                                                         force is about opening to love and
​                                                                                                              giving love.

Desires

Responds to challenges, comes alive at                                         Desires to be noticed and feel 
the edge, and when challenged.                                                     attractive.
Loves competition to test themselves                                            Lives in a world of sensation, the body
and break through barriers.                                                             connection to the flow of elements 
                                                                                                             and the natural forces.
Wants to possess.                                                                             Addicted to ways of filling her sensse 
                                                                                                             of emptiness.
Addicted to emptying himself and                            
releasing himself into the void.
​Wants to feel appreciated.                                                              Wants to feel understood.

Challeges

Finds it easy to let go and leave.                                                     Hangs onto everything.
Often leaves to soon.                                                                       Often stays too long.
Speaks words vs emotion.                                                              Hears primarily mood and tone. 

​©Robbins Research International, Inc

​If polarity isn’t there, then depolarization occurs.  So finding ways to step further and embracing our masculine or feminine energy can have huge impacts on the intimacy of our relationship. 
 
If you would like to know more, than either visit us at www.bodymindsoulclinic.com.au.
 
Or you can call us on 5519 3338 or request an appointment to start enhancing your relationship today.