Experiencing a relationship breakdown can be emotionally challenging, leaving you feeling lost and overwhelmed. However, it's important to remember that healing is a process, and with time and intentional effort, you can emerge stronger and more resilient. In this blog, we will explore three practical and simple steps to help you navigate the journey of getting over a relationship breakdown.


Step 1: Allow Yourself to Feel
The first step in overcoming a relationship breakdown is to acknowledge and embrace your emotions. It's natural to feel a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, confusion, and even relief. Give yourself permission to feel without judgment. Remember that healing begins with acceptance.

Practical Tips:
- Journaling: Write down your thoughts and emotions to gain clarity and release pent-up feelings.
- Reach out to a Friend: Share your feelings with a trusted friend who can provide support and a listening ear.
- Practice Mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation, to stay present and manage overwhelming emotions.

Step 2: Establish Healthy Boundaries
Setting clear boundaries is crucial for your emotional well-being during this challenging time. This step involves creating space between yourself and your ex-partner to facilitate healing and personal growth. Establishing healthy boundaries also means taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Practical Tips:
- Digital Detox: Limit or temporarily disconnect from social media and other digital platforms that may trigger emotional distress.
- Create Physical Space: If possible, rearrange your living space to reflect your new chapter and minimize reminders of the past.
- Prioritize Self-Care: Focus on activities that nurture your well-being, such as exercise, healthy eating, and adequate sleep.

Step 3: Focus on Personal Growth and Future Goals
As you navigate the aftermath of a relationship breakdown, channel your energy into personal growth and the pursuit of your individual goals. Rediscover your passions, invest in self-improvement, and envision a future that aligns with your values and aspirations.

Practical Tips:
- Identify Personal Goals: Reflect on your aspirations and set small, achievable goals to work towards.
- Explore New Hobbies: Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you discover new aspects of yourself.
- Seek Professional Support: Consider talking to a therapist or counselor to gain insights and tools for personal growth.


Getting over a relationship breakdown is a gradual process that requires patience, self-compassion, and intentional actions. By allowing yourself to feel, establishing healthy boundaries, and focusing on personal growth, you can navigate this challenging time with resilience and emerge from it stronger and wiser. Remember, healing is a journey, and each step forward brings you closer to a brighter and more fulfilling future.

Stress is an inevitable part of life. From work pressures to personal challenges, we all face stress at some point. While a little stress can be motivating, chronic stress can take a toll on your mental and physical well-being. In this blog, we will explore practical strategies to cope with stress in your everyday life and achieve a healthier, more balanced state of mind.

Understanding Stress:

Before we delve into coping strategies, it's essential to understand what stress is. Stress is your body's natural response to a perceived threat or challenge. It can be physical, emotional, or psychological. When stress becomes chronic or overwhelming, it can lead to a range of health issues, including anxiety, depression, and physical ailments.

Coping Strategies:

1. **Mindfulness Meditation:** Mindfulness is about staying in the present moment without judgment. Meditation can help you develop this skill, reducing your mind's tendency to dwell on past regrets or future worries. Even just a few minutes a day can make a difference.
2. **Exercise:** Physical activity releases endorphins, which are natural mood lifters. Regular exercise can help you manage stress by promoting relaxation and improving your overall well-being.
3. **Healthy Eating:** A well-balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and whole grains can provide your body with the nutrients it needs to better handle stress. Avoid excessive caffeine, sugar, and processed foods.
4. **Quality Sleep:** Lack of sleep can amplify stress levels. Establish a regular sleep routine and create a relaxing bedtime ritual to improve your sleep quality.
5. **Time Management:** Proper time management can reduce stress related to work or deadlines. Prioritize tasks, set realistic goals, and break large projects into smaller, manageable steps.
6. **Social Connections:** Share your feelings and concerns with trusted friends and family. Social support can provide a strong buffer against stress.
7. **Deep Breathing and Relaxation Techniques:** Deep, diaphragmatic breathing can calm your nervous system. Practice deep breathing exercises or progressive muscle relaxation to help manage stress.
8. **Hobbies and Creativity:** Engage in activities you enjoy, whether it's painting, gardening, or playing a musical instrument. These can provide a much-needed escape from stress.
9. **Establish Boundaries:** Learn to say "no" when necessary and set clear boundaries to prevent overextending yourself. It's okay to prioritize your own well-being.
10. **Seek Professional Help:** If stress is overwhelming or persistent, consider seeking the support of a mental health professional. Therapy can provide valuable coping strategies and emotional support.

Conclusion:

Coping with stress in everyday life is a crucial skill for maintaining your mental and physical health. It's important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all solution, and what works best for you may differ from what works for someone else. Experiment with these coping strategies, and over time, you'll discover the combination that helps you manage stress effectively. By taking proactive steps to address stress in your life, you can achieve a healthier, more balanced state of mind.

https://tinyurl.com/3yhyvfs8 
​0415138223

Depression is a complex and often misunderstood mental health condition that affects millions of people worldwide. It can be debilitating, isolating, and have a significant impact on one's quality of life. As a psychologist, my aim is to help you understand depression better, its causes, symptoms, and the various strategies for coping and seeking help. By increasing awareness and knowledge, we can work towards reducing the stigma surrounding depression and provide support to those who need it.

What is Depression?

Depression, often referred to as major depressive disorder (MDD) or clinical depression, is a mental health condition characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of interest or pleasure in most activities. It's not just feeling "blue" or having a bad day; it's a prolonged and pervasive emotional state that can interfere with daily functioning.

Understanding the Causes

Depression has a multitude of contributing factors, and it is rarely caused by a single event or issue. Here are some common causes and risk factors:

1. **Biological Factors:** Imbalances in brain chemicals (neurotransmitters) can play a role in depression. Genetics may also increase one's vulnerability.
2. **Psychological Factors:** Past trauma, negative thought patterns, and low self-esteem can contribute to depression.
3. **Environmental Factors:** Stress, chronic illness, substance abuse, and major life changes can trigger depression.

Recognizing the Symptoms

Depression can manifest in various ways, and the symptoms may vary from person to person. Common symptoms include:

1. **Persistent Sadness:** Feeling down, empty, or tearful most of the day, nearly every day.
2. **Loss of Interest:** A lack of interest in previously enjoyable activities.
3. **Changes in Sleep:** Insomnia or excessive sleeping can be common.
4. **Changes in Appetite:** Significant weight loss or gain may occur.
5. **Fatigue:** A constant feeling of tiredness and low energy.
6. **Difficulty Concentrating:** Trouble with memory and decision-making.
7. **Physical Symptoms:** Unexplained aches, pains, and digestive issues.

Coping Strategies

While depression can be challenging, there are several strategies to manage and overcome it:

1. **Therapy:** Psychotherapy, particularly Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), can help individuals change negative thought patterns and develop coping skills.
2. **Medication:** Antidepressant medications may be prescribed by a healthcare professional to help manage symptoms.
3. **Self-Care:** Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep can have a positive impact on mood.
4. **Support System:** Lean on friends and family for emotional support, or consider joining a support group.
5. **Mindfulness and Relaxation:** Techniques like meditation and deep breathing can help manage stress.

Seeking Help

If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, it's crucial to seek professional help. A psychologist, psychiatrist, or therapist can provide guidance and support tailored to your unique situation. Don't hesitate to reach out—it's a sign of strength, not weakness.

Conclusion

Understanding depression is the first step in overcoming its challenges. By recognizing its causes, symptoms, and available treatments, we can work towards reducing the stigma surrounding this condition and offer a more compassionate and informed approach to those who are experiencing it. Remember, there is hope, and with the right support and treatment, recovery is possible.

https://tinyurl.com/3yhyvfs8 
​0415138223

hOne of the hardest things we find to do, is to love ourselves.  It’s so much easier to just hate on ourselves, criticise ourselves or blame ourselves for all that life dishes out. Though were does that leave you?  Usually feeling like crap and believing in less that what we truly are.

So what is self-love? This is when we have and show respect for our own wellbeing and also our own happiness. Now this term “self-love” maybe a term that gets thrown around a lot these days, though the importance of loving ourselves helps the overall impact and quality on our life, and isn’t improving that something we all want?  If you’re struggling to get around the term self-love, may be use different words, such as being kinder, nurturing, and softer towards ourselves might help assist you in becoming more self-loving.

Like all behaviours, it takes time and practice in order for the behaviour to feel more automatic or even normal to us. Now this isn’t something that we can just go and buy at the shops, it’s a state of mind…towards ourselves. Self-love grows from appreciating ourselves in all that we do.  Its understanding that we are human, and humans make mistakes and treating ourselves more gently in the process. It''s acknowledging that we also deserve to be happy and we then start to take actions to support this.

So what can we do to start loving ourselves more?

1.Be more mindful. People who show more self-love often are more aware of their own inner thoughts, feelings, needs and desires. They are more likely to act on this knowledge than that of others. (See Show me the Monkey Blog for more information).
2.Boundaries. Boundaries are like a fence, you need to be mindful of what you allow through the gate.  Learn to say no or set limits so that you are more consistently protecting yourself. (See our blog on Boundaries for more information).
3.Learn to ditch the inner critic. Our internal dialogue has a lot to answer for and can often be the cause and fuel for more negative self-talk.  Start consciously talking to yourself in a gentler and more positive way.
4.Forgive yourself. We are so hard on ourselves and can often punish ourselves far to harshly for mistakes we make in life.  None of us are perfect and failure just provides feedback, accept yourself and your humanness more often.
5.Create rituals that grow self-love. Rituals are a great way of making sure we are adding situations or scenarios into our day that encourage self-love.  Turn the TV of for 15 mins or take a break from social media.  Weekly or monthly massages, or we can just pamper ourselves in some way.
6.Stop the comparisons. What often happens when we compare ourselves to others? We are the ones that often come up feeling worse for wear.  This can be detrimental to our self-esteem.  Practice taking a less comparative approach to others. If we are all reading the big book of life, know that some people are at different chapters to you.

Self-love might not always be an easy step, though it’s a step in the right direction towards caring for you in a healthier and more sustainable way.  Take time each day to stop and see how you can be kinder, more nurturing and more loving towards you.
 
 
If you would like to know more, then either visit us at www.bodymindsoulclinic.com.au.
 
Or you can call us on 5519 3338 or request an appointment. 

Forgiveness is the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven. Though its not always easy to forgive someone and very possibly harder to forgive ourselves.  It’s all well and good for someone to say, Well you need to forgive them or just let go and move on.  Forgiveness doesn’t always feel easy. 
 
Though there are many benefits to forgiveness and it has been associated with reducing and lowering stress and depression within the body.  It has been connected to increased levels of life satisfaction and also increased feelings of wellbeing.  One study has also found that trait forgiveness is linked to experiencing better relationships with others. 
 
A few years ago, I came across a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness call Ho’oponopono.  The word when translated into English means correction. Yet in the Hawaiian dictionary it is defined as: (a) to put right, correct, adjust, amend, rectify, tidy up, edit, to make ready; and (b) mental cleansing.  Ho’oponopono is a profound gift which allows us to expand our relationship with ourselves and others asking that our errors in though, deed, word and behavior be cleansed.
 
Ho’oponopono is centered around four key phrases.  Phrases which are often the hardest to say.  It takes us into a place of ownership and allows us to open up our hearts for healing to take place. The four phrases are:
 
Step 1: I’m Sorry (repentance).
Saying sorry is never easy and can often be associated with pain. You can just say, I’m sorry, or you can be more specific and state what you’re sorry before you state the above phrase.
 
Step 2: Please forgive me (Ask forgiveness)
 
Step 3: Thank you (gratitude)
Thank who ever it is you need forgiveness from  - yourself, someone else, your body, the Universe, God.
 
Step 4: I love you (love)
Again say it to which you are forgiving – yourself, your body, God, your challenges.
 
The four phrases can be said in any order and the beauty of it is its simplicity.  It creates a meditative effect with a mindfulness approach allowing us to remove our ego and to move into our heart.

If you'd like to talk more to one of our therapists, then feel free to contact our office on 5519 3338 to make an appointment.

​Body Mind Soul Clinic - Life by Design
 

​We all have beliefs. Whether it be about the world around us (we call these Global Beliefs) or about ourselves (called Identity Beliefs). So what is a belief? A belief is a feeling of certainty about what something means to us.  A belief is a force that controls all your decisions. It influences how you think and feel every moment of every day you’re alive.  It determines what you will do and what you won’t do. It determines how you feel about anything that occurs in your life.
 
Beliefs have the power to control what you see and feel in the world around you.
 
What you believe in is a choice.
 
So how do beliefs develop? Your beliefs are developed by events that have happened in the past. Also by seeing what happens to other people or to our parents and by social influence.
 
Your beliefs have a direct impact on the way you think and behave.
 
There are two major belief systems that create meaning for your life. 
 
1. Global Beliefs
These are assumptions or generalizations about the world around you.  Example, “All men/women are bad”, “Life is hard!”
 
2. Identity
This is what you believe about yourself and about whom you are as a person.  Example, “I’m a strong person.” “I’m not smart enough”.
 
Let’s focus on our identity for a minute. So what exactly is an identity belief? It is simply the beliefs that we use to define our own individuality. It’s what makes us unique—good, bad, or indifferent—from other individuals. It also gives us a sense of certainty about who we are, which creates the boundaries and limits within which we live our life.
 
HOW IS OUR IDENTITY FORMED?
 
 
You might ask, "Isn't my identity limited by my experience?" No, it's limited by your interpretation of your experience. Your identity is nothing but the decisions you've made about who you are and who you want to be. You become the labels you've given yourself. The way you define your identity defines your life.
 
So this all being true, the great news is that our beliefs can change.  They will grow and evolve over the course of our lifetime, dependant on which way it takes us.  Though in all of this, we still ultimately get to choose of what we believe in. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like a choice, though I’m here to implore you…make the choices of what you believe in purposeful, empowering and uplifting.  You do have a choice, it’s just making the right belief choices for you.
 
To help us expand our identity beliefs, we have designed our 10-Day Challenge to push out the boundaries of what you believe.  If you would love to hear more on how to undertake the challenge, click here to see a short video of Michelle explaining how it all works.
 
If you would like to know more, then either visit us at www.bodymindsoulclinic.com.au.
 
Or you can call us on 5519 3338 or request an appointment to start addressing your stress today. 

​Life doesn’t always show up how we would like it to and sometimes it can be difficult to find our way through the tough times.  Though the one thing that can make a difference is developing some resilience.
 
So what is resilience? Well a lack of resilience is when we are struggling to overcome our challenges and we feel like we can’t get back into that more helpful or optimistic mindset. So resilience is feeling like we are able to bounce back even stronger, particularly when life knocks you down.  Through our resilience, we are able to find our ability to adapt better to adversity.
 
Imagine your level of resilience like a tree trunk, the wider the tree trunk the greater the resilience and the smaller the tree trunk then the less we have.
 
Just because we may be more resilient to challenges or tragedy, doesn’t mean that we don’t experience emotional distress or pain. In fact our journey to resilience may actually include emotional distress.
 
There are a number of contributing factors that helps build resilience such as:

• Our ability to make realistic plans and steps
• Having a more positive view of yourself and knowing your strengths
• Being able to problem solve
• Managing strong feelings and urges

 
We all develop resilience that works for us and such our path to this is very different. Though there are a number of similar approaches that we can all take to building this up.
 

• Create good relationships with family, friends and others. 
• Flip your thinking to state your problem in a more helpful way.  This opens up the mind to more positive possibilities.
• Change is a part of our lives and accepting circumstances that you can’t change.
• Having goals to move towards and accomplishing them (even if they are small) creates a sense of accomplishment.
• Act rather than react to situations.
• Keep growing as a person and walk the path of self-discovery.
• See yourself in a positive light.  This helps develop confidence and self trust in our selves.
• Keep things in perspective. Don’t see things bigger than what they are or even smaller than what they are…be realistic.
• Be optimistic towards ourselves and our future.
• Look after you. Self nurture and love yourself.

 
If we can take these simple steps to creating resilience and personalize them for ourselves, the stronger and more flexible we come in facing life’s challenges.
 
If you would like to know more, than either visit us at www.bodymindsoulclinic.com.au.
 
Or you can call us on 5519 3338 or request an appointment with one of our Clinicians today.
 

We all want to have a more positive outlook, though often if feels like it is hard to cultivate.  In many ways our brain is already wired up for negativity, which makes it harder to constantly feel positive.  The great thing with our brain is that negativity has kept us alive as humans for many, many generations.  Though this day and age, generally we don’t need to be as negative towards our environment and our world is a lot safer then our cave man days. 
 
Though there are some ways that we can start creating a more positive filter, yet like many new behaviours, it still takes practice.  Start creating positive habits to nurture the mindset you’re after. Remember, neurons that fire together wire together.  Here are some strategies listed below that can help you on the way to a more positive and helpful way of thinking.
 
1.  Being thankful for all that you have and practice gratitude daily.

2.  Cultivate Optimism – there is always a silver lining. 

3. Stop comparing yourself to others. You are unique and as soon as we compare ourselves to others, we often find ourselves inferior in that comparison.  This has negative impacts on your self-esteem.  

4.  Realising that most of your day is great and refocusing and noticing what that is. Imagine that your day is 100%.  80% of the day is usually great, 15% ok and 5% bad, though we often feel like the 5% is our 95%.  Positively filter throughout the day. 

5.  Giving selflessly – practice random acts of kindness of which there is no expectation of something return. 

6.  Forgiveness – be willing to let go of the hurts of the past. 

7.  Savour the joys in life. 

8.  Change your focus by flipping your thinking – if in doubt, turn it inside out. Make your unhelpful thoughts positive.  The event itself is neither inherently good nor bad though it’s our interpretation of it that makes it so. 
9.  White dog/Black dog – the white dog is the things that make you feel good and happy in your life (they give you energy), and the black dog is the negative things in your life (they take energy from you). Make sure you have more White Dogs in your world and keep the black dogs at a distance. 

10. Nurture social relationships and invest in social connections. 

11. Increase your flow experiences 

12. Commit to goals 
13. Take care of your body and soul – exercise, meditate, act happy 
​
If you would like to know more, than either visit us at www.bodymindsoulclinic.com.au.
 
Or you can call us on 5519 3338 or request an appointment with one of our Clinicians today.
 

So often I hear from so many clients, “Why me?”, “What’s wrong with me?”  These are common questions that I hear most days.  So why questions?  Well the brain does love answers, so when we ask yourself these things, it will give us an answer just to please us.  Though what if we could change our perception of our world by asking better quality questions?
 
What we focus on we feel.  Yes you may have heard me say this before, and you’ll probably hear me say it again.  Our brain is like a camera lens and where we point it creates the experiences we have.  Where that camera lens goes is what we focus on. The quality of our questions determines the quality of our lives. 
 
So if we ask a crappy question then we’ll probably get a crappy answer.  Though what if questions help us to change our focus?  To point our mind in a direction that can also help us see something better, more helpful and possibly even assist us in creating a more positive mind set.
 
So if questions are a way to direct our mind in more positive ways, then what questions should you be asking? Well that is a great question. Though before I get to that let me just share why using questions are a great way to change our inner world.  They’re great as they make you search…search for an answer.  We have to find something beyond what we would normally be thinking. So if that’s something negative, a power question can assist us in shifting a negative to a positive and also strengthen those positive mindset neural pathways. 
 
So here are some great questions to start asking yourself:

1. What am I happy about in my life right now? What about that makes me happy?
2. What am I most excited about in my life right now? What about that makes me feel excited?
3. What am I most proud about in my life now? What about that makes me proud?
4. What am I most grateful in my life now? What about that makes me grateful?
5. What am I committed to in my life right now? What about that makes me committed?
6. How do I love? How have I been loving today?
7. What have I given today? How have I been a giver today?
8. What did I learn today?
9. What was good about today?

 
Start practicing asking yourself better quality questions, especially when life isn’t showing up the best.  It’s a great way to start changing your mind set into something greater.
 
If you would like to know more, than either visit us at www.bodymindsoulclinic.com.au.
 
Or you can call us on 5519 3338 or request an appointment with one of our Clinicians today.

​Motivation can be defined a driving force that initiates and directs behaviour.  It is derived internally and can drive a person to do or achieve something, such as our goals or our desires.
Motivation becomes strong when you have a vision, a clear mental image of what you want to achieve. When we create a compelling vision of our future, we are more willing and determined to make that a reality.  What’s interesting about our brain, is that it doesn’t know the difference between what is true or not true, so the stronger and clearer the vision, the more our brain thinks its real, thus moves towards congruency and our motivation is increased. So motivation has the ability to excite you and push you forward, so that you take action, so that you’re able to make your vision a reality.
A Lack of Motivation
 
So I’m going to throw out the human card and we can all relate to the fact that there are times when we just aren’t motivated and there can be numerous reasons why.
 
So what is a lack of motivation!  If motivation has the ability to move us towards what we desire, than a lack of it suggests there is an absence of desire, interest and a driving force.
 
A lack of motivation can result in passive behaviour, blame, a sense of failure and a list of excuses as to why you shouldn’t and cannot do this or that.  I know I’ve been guilty of this in the past…its to dark, the weather isn’t right, I’m tired, I don’t have the time, what are people going to think…and the list goes on.


The challenge is that when we’re not achieving even our smallest goals due to a lack of motivation, we can often be hard on ourselves though we can easily become indifferent, unhappy and dissatisfied with life.
 
Let’s see if some of the Reasons for a lack of motivation resonate with you.

• A lack of faith in one’s abilities
• Fear of failure
• Low self-esteem
• Fear of what others might say
• Continual procrastination
• Laziness
• A lack of incentive

 
So the burning question is How to increase your motivation

1. Let’s start with something we would like to achieve and make it a goal. Just remember it doesn’t have to be huge…they can be very small and do-able goals.
2. What’s important now is to make you goal very clear.  Writing it down is a great way to help clarify what it is you truly are after and wanting to achieve.  Make sure you describe it in detail…what do you see, what do you hear and how do you feel when you’ve achieved your goal.
3. Focus on what it is that you want on a daily basis. Where focus goes, energy flows. 
4. Find inspiration within that goal. Are there other people out there who have achieved what you are wanting? 
5. Get excited.
6. Commit to it publicly or have an accountability buddy to keep you on track.
7. Use positive affirmations that affirm your goal and desire. What we say is what we start to believe and it is who we eventually become.
8. Do something small in relation to your goal on a daily basis. Small easy steps…
9. Make a visual representation of your goal that you can look at daily. Get your brain into gear and grab some pictures that inspire you and place them where you can see them.

 
 
 
Here are some great questions to ask yourself to get you started.
 
Is there an area in your life that you are already interested in that motivates you?
 
What are you focusing on when you think of that area?
 
What is the meaning that you’ve given it?  Does it empower of disempower your motivation?
 
What has prevented you in the past from staying motivated?
 
What are the benefits of being motivated?
 
How is life different when you experience motivation and enthusiasm?
 
 
Ultimately getting motivated is up to you. Take one step at a time and never underestimate your ability to make things happen.
 
If you would like to know more, than either visit us at www.bodymindsoulclinic.com.au.
 
Or you can call us on 5519 3338 or request an appointment to start creating the life you desire today.