I see a lot of couples within our practice for relationship counseling. Even if someone comes in for individual counseling, a lot of they’re challenges can often stem from within the relationship. To often I see couples when they’re in distress over the relationship and they don’t feel like they’re getting what they want from it. The usual presentation is often one of hurt, feeling misunderstood, high levels of blame and resentment.
It’s at this point that we stop giving, and start taking. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t intentional (or not usually), though most couples are just crying out for love and attention from their significant other and just not feeling it. It’s at this stage that its important to remind ourselves which Dimension of the relationship we want to be in.
This is where your focus is what you are getting from the relationship. Your main focus is on getting your needs met and also what you’re not getting. It’s all about you!
If you are on the receiving end of this type of relationship, then you may often feel alone and that you have to sacrifice your own desires and needs in order for the relationship to exist peacefully.
This type of relationship is all about equality. You are both focusing on meeting your own needs as well as the needs of your partner. Though if your partner can’t meet their own needs, then to bad! This is like horse-trading…if you do this for me, then I’ll do this for you. This all might sound great…an egalitarian relationship, though the partnership may be fantastic, it can be devastating for the polarity within the relationship.
In a 3 dimensional relationship, you take total responsibly for how the other person feels. You believe that “your needs are my needs”. And you don’t stop until the needs of your partners are meet. This isn’t a level of which “you do your part and I’ll do mine”, its one of “I am here to take you to another level and I live to light you up and I will”. It’s in this state that the passion, the energy and the joy all come naturally.
Stop asking, “What am I not getting?, but “What am I giving” and watch your relationship become truly extraordinary.
If you would like to know more, than either visit us at www.bodymindsoulclinic.com.au.
Or you can call us on 5519 3338 or click here to request an appointment to start enhancing your relationship today.