hOne of the hardest things we find to do, is to love ourselves. It’s so much easier to just hate on ourselves, criticise ourselves or blame ourselves for all that life dishes out. Though were does that leave you? Usually feeling like crap and believing in less that what we truly are.
So what is self-love? This is when we have and show respect for our own wellbeing and also our own happiness. Now this term “self-love” maybe a term that gets thrown around a lot these days, though the importance of loving ourselves helps the overall impact and quality on our life, and isn’t improving that something we all want? If you’re struggling to get around the term self-love, may be use different words, such as being kinder, nurturing, and softer towards ourselves might help assist you in becoming more self-loving.
Like all behaviours, it takes time and practice in order for the behaviour to feel more automatic or even normal to us. Now this isn’t something that we can just go and buy at the shops, it’s a state of mind…towards ourselves. Self-love grows from appreciating ourselves in all that we do. Its understanding that we are human, and humans make mistakes and treating ourselves more gently in the process. It''s acknowledging that we also deserve to be happy and we then start to take actions to support this.
So what can we do to start loving ourselves more?
1.Be more mindful. People who show more self-love often are more aware of their own inner thoughts, feelings, needs and desires. They are more likely to act on this knowledge than that of others. (See Show me the Monkey Blog for more information).
2.Boundaries. Boundaries are like a fence, you need to be mindful of what you allow through the gate. Learn to say no or set limits so that you are more consistently protecting yourself. (See our blog on Boundaries for more information).
3.Learn to ditch the inner critic. Our internal dialogue has a lot to answer for and can often be the cause and fuel for more negative self-talk. Start consciously talking to yourself in a gentler and more positive way.
4.Forgive yourself. We are so hard on ourselves and can often punish ourselves far to harshly for mistakes we make in life. None of us are perfect and failure just provides feedback, accept yourself and your humanness more often.
5.Create rituals that grow self-love. Rituals are a great way of making sure we are adding situations or scenarios into our day that encourage self-love. Turn the TV of for 15 mins or take a break from social media. Weekly or monthly massages, or we can just pamper ourselves in some way.
6.Stop the comparisons. What often happens when we compare ourselves to others? We are the ones that often come up feeling worse for wear. This can be detrimental to our self-esteem. Practice taking a less comparative approach to others. If we are all reading the big book of life, know that some people are at different chapters to you.
Self-love might not always be an easy step, though it’s a step in the right direction towards caring for you in a healthier and more sustainable way. Take time each day to stop and see how you can be kinder, more nurturing and more loving towards you.
If you would like to know more, then either visit us at www.bodymindsoulclinic.com.au.
Or you can call us on 5519 3338 or request an appointment.
Forgiveness is the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven. Though its not always easy to forgive someone and very possibly harder to forgive ourselves. It’s all well and good for someone to say, Well you need to forgive them or just let go and move on. Forgiveness doesn’t always feel easy.
Though there are many benefits to forgiveness and it has been associated with reducing and lowering stress and depression within the body. It has been connected to increased levels of life satisfaction and also increased feelings of wellbeing. One study has also found that trait forgiveness is linked to experiencing better relationships with others.
A few years ago, I came across a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness call Ho’oponopono. The word when translated into English means correction. Yet in the Hawaiian dictionary it is defined as: (a) to put right, correct, adjust, amend, rectify, tidy up, edit, to make ready; and (b) mental cleansing. Ho’oponopono is a profound gift which allows us to expand our relationship with ourselves and others asking that our errors in though, deed, word and behavior be cleansed.
Ho’oponopono is centered around four key phrases. Phrases which are often the hardest to say. It takes us into a place of ownership and allows us to open up our hearts for healing to take place. The four phrases are:
Step 1: I’m Sorry (repentance).
Saying sorry is never easy and can often be associated with pain. You can just say, I’m sorry, or you can be more specific and state what you’re sorry before you state the above phrase.
Step 2: Please forgive me (Ask forgiveness)
Step 3: Thank you (gratitude)
Thank who ever it is you need forgiveness from - yourself, someone else, your body, the Universe, God.
Step 4: I love you (love)
Again say it to which you are forgiving – yourself, your body, God, your challenges.
The four phrases can be said in any order and the beauty of it is its simplicity. It creates a meditative effect with a mindfulness approach allowing us to remove our ego and to move into our heart.
If you'd like to talk more to one of our therapists, then feel free to contact our office on 5519 3338 to make an appointment.
Body Mind Soul Clinic - Life by Design
Life doesn’t always show up how we would like it to and sometimes it can be difficult to find our way through the tough times. Though the one thing that can make a difference is developing some resilience.
So what is resilience? Well a lack of resilience is when we are struggling to overcome our challenges and we feel like we can’t get back into that more helpful or optimistic mindset. So resilience is feeling like we are able to bounce back even stronger, particularly when life knocks you down. Through our resilience, we are able to find our ability to adapt better to adversity.
Imagine your level of resilience like a tree trunk, the wider the tree trunk the greater the resilience and the smaller the tree trunk then the less we have.
Just because we may be more resilient to challenges or tragedy, doesn’t mean that we don’t experience emotional distress or pain. In fact our journey to resilience may actually include emotional distress.
There are a number of contributing factors that helps build resilience such as:
We all develop resilience that works for us and such our path to this is very different. Though there are a number of similar approaches that we can all take to building this up.
If we can take these simple steps to creating resilience and personalize them for ourselves, the stronger and more flexible we come in facing life’s challenges.
If you would like to know more, than either visit us at www.bodymindsoulclinic.com.au.
Or you can call us on 5519 3338 or request an appointment with one of our Clinicians today.
Yes here we are again with the silly season already underway, this is also a great time to be celebrating and appreciating all the good things in our lives today. This time of year might be a great reminder, though what would life be like if you had that level of appreciation all year round?
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” – Oprah Winfrey.
What if by appreciating more, you attract more in to be grateful for? Where our focus goes our energy flows, so the more we cultivate this sense of gratitude, we not only increase our own sense of joy and contentment, we naturally attract more that we are grateful for in the process, regardless of what we do or don’t have.
We are conditioned to focus more on what we don’t have, though by practicing gratitude daily, we can rewire our brain to experience and see more of what we do have.
Here are some simple ways to start cultivating an attitude for gratitude these holidays:
Have a safe and joyful Christmas.